Wednesday, October 17, 2007

When Memories Attack...

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I'm suffering from a range of emotions,
trying to divide and conquer it all but these multiple issues feel enormous,
And i can't subtract the matter of fact that I just never know how to react,
and in addition to that, I'm haunted by the ghosts of my past,
Up all night facing thoughts I thought I buried deep in my head,
now face to face with past memories, night of the living dead,
for three years the feelings were pushed aside to make room for a new product,
someone new was on display, my past was shelved and boxed up,
But now i'm looking back and confronting one memory in particular,
examining what she meant to me and all the things I did to her,
but even more am i disturbed with the things that i lacked with her,
lacked the right words to say, to keep her from being bitter
lacked the strength to make it work, to keep our love shining,
but for some reason I think the biggest thing I lacked was timing,
time was never on our side, an odd that I couldn't get even with,
playing seesaw with destiny but i didn't have enough weight to at least even it,
now i'm confronting this memory like shadows dancing in a dimly-lit room,
no windows to catch a breeze but somehow these shadows still move,
I'm freaked out and wanna leave but i feel frozen in place,
because these shadows tell a story of footsteps that have never been retraced,
I'm figuring out that I stepped into a house that has been abandoned,
The blueprints were laid out, but what we have is barely a shack instead of a mansion,
I can envision the potential for greatness, I feel a sense of inspiration,
I hold the tools in my hand, but this house is now a place of isolation,
-written june-july 2005

This poem is actually unfinished but I'm probably not going to add to this poem anymore. Kinda like art imitating life, because that relationship doesn't have the full closure that one would like. At the same time, our relationship's end is somewhat of an open book, and we both actually think that's kinda cool!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

man your thoughts are addicting!!!! =). i love this master piece. -rose ann