Thursday, January 10, 2008

Chicken Scratches

Ask my friend Shaughn, and he would gladly (more like excitedly) tell you that my penmanship is horrible. We used to write rap verses and try to record them over instrumentals, and many times they were written on the spot and we would give ourselves a limited amount of time to finish. I would usually write a ton of lines but when Shaughn tried to read my verses on his own, it would be hard enough to read that he would be offended with me. But the tool of offense was not the subject matter I wrote about, but how I wrote it. He wouldn't be able to read most of what I wrote and he would look at me like I hurt his feelings!

It's weird that over the years, my written works just get sloppier and sloppier. Someone told me that the way you write describes how you feel or your level of anxiety, I guess you could call it "graphology". So I guess when my writing gets real sloppy ("is that a 'u' or an 'n'?"), it's because I'm nervous about something or stressed. When my writing gets a little more tolerable, that means I'm pretty relaxed. With me, I don't suffer from anxiety disorders nor do I suffer from panic attacks, but I get nervous real easily. I just tend to get visibly uncomfortable when something weird happens or when all eyes are on me. It also shows in my writing.

My first few months in Dallas really showed my anxiety. trying to adjust to a new city as well as trying to get my school stuff in order made me write like a chicken on acid with ink-dipped talons was clawing on college rule. My note-taking was definitely an abomination. But as the second semester rolled around and things at home settled down, you could see the ease in my writing. But as the new Spring semester here at UTD started, I can already tell that I'm going to have an ugly penmanship semester. It must be because I'm anxious about a lot of stuff that it makes my writing hand wobbly.

Well, I apologize to you that might have read my penmanship (or attempted to). It's something that teachers called me out for when I was younger and I didn't really get the hang of writing neatly. Thank goodness almost everything is done electronically, now all people have to worry about is my grammar! "Worser!!!"

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