Friday, February 22, 2008

Jack Ketchum's "The Girl Next Door" is the very reason...

(Photo credit:

...that I am utterly afraid of the suburbs.

There is a reason that horror and suspense movies rarely take place in the urban areas of a city. I have realized that in the ghetto, there are no secrets. Everybody knows what the deal is. In the ghetto you know who deals drugs, who sells drugs, and who DOES the drugs. You know where the hoes are, and you know who to go to for "connections" (free cable, discounts, bootlegs, etc.). People try their best to be happy but no one will try to cover the fact that their lives are difficult and they do what they can to deal with it legally or illegally.

**I would like to take this opportunity to once again reiterate that I did not grow up in the projects, BUT I've always lived in the cities in neighborhoods where the "minority is the majority." I've never lived in an apartment but our family's income has never been something to brag about! I'm broke!**

Take a movie like Scream. That took place in a decent neighborhood in the suburbs. And what lived in that decent neighborhood? A crazed killer! Take a movie like Carrie. Man, nuff said. Take a movie like Donnie Darko. I mean, man, that movie was so trippy that an airplane fell on dood's house. Only in the suburbs man!

What induces filmmakers to set crazy films in suburbs? The answer: the secrets. Suburbia is so dang secretive because everyone who lives there try their hardest to blend in and not raise any eyebrows. You can live next to the same family your whole life and not know that the mom was a crackhead and the son was gay. Little kids have lemonade stands during the summer but dangit, what the hell happens to them in the winter? It's a conspiracy I tell ya! The suburbs are FREAKY! The more "American" it is, the freakier it really is!

I have many friends who live in the suburbs and I don't openly admit this to them, but I get real uncomfortable when I pull up to their neighborhood. It's just... too... serene. Serene in the sense that, there's that "evil-lurking-in-the-shadows" feel that I just can't shake. And I'm more often right, I can almost guarantee that.

So I have made my decision: when I get married, I'm staying in the city. Forget that, I'll take a job teaching inner-city kids, I really do not mind. I just want to go home to a nice neighborhood where I have to lock my doors at night. I'd rather be safe than waking up with a knife in my back the next morning because the suburban kids took too much PCP. No thanks.

So, about the movie:

The Girl Next Door, directed by Gregory M. Wilson, is a very shocking tale about a suburban mom with a sick-eff secret. She takes in a relative and her younger, disabled sister and proceeds to torture them like a sick freak. The mom, whose name is Ruth, must have had some real self-esteem problems growing up because she grew to despise herself as well as the female sex, and since she only has sons, she vents all her sick-eff frustrations on the girl. What makes it even more messed up is that Ruth was originally thought of as "the cool mom" because she lets her sons and their friends drink beer and stuff, but now she gets the boys to go along with the torture of the poor girl, named Meg, and her sister Susan. The boys end up being real douchebags, except for the next door neighbor Davey. He's pretty cool but, being that the movie takes place in the 1950s Suburbia, he's forced to keep quiet about what goes on. The movie is real hard to stomach, and believe me, I can stomach many movies. Hostel, Saw, I say naw. If you really want to be disturbed, watch The Girl Next door. You want to know what makes the movie ALL THE MORE messed up? It's based on a true story dangit! That stuff really happened which tells me that yes, the suburbs is NOT the place to be!

Read about the actual real-life messed up story here:

It's real sad man. The movie will leave you feeling real eye-violated because some of the stuff that they did was uncalled for. I really paid attention to the whole psychology behind the movie, and it makes it more sad because everyone just really sucked in life.

So, once again, I say, beware of the Suburbs. The family next to you just might be a family of devil worshipers, and if they are, then, guard your chest!

Other creepy suburban evil movies:

The last house on the left, directed by Wes Craven (1972)
The Burbs, directed by Joe Dante (1989)
Arlington Road, directed by Mark Pellington (1999)
Edward Scissorhands, directed by Tim Burton (1990)

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