Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Homecoming, and a little insight into being a PK




It's kind of a strange phenomenon to see how fast your life can change in a short period of time. I was looking through my phone's picture album and I noticed a quick switch in like... who was in the picture. Within a week's time it went from the Malabanans of Dallas to the Valdez of Seattle. That's the life being a PK. I'm not sure about my other PKs, but every-so-often I just want to write about the whole moving part of my life. Just the part of moving in itself makes my life very unique. It's a part of every PKs life, whether you stay in one region (or coast) for most of your life or you bounce around the globe. But there is something I have come to realize about being a PK and moving - as much as we all are the same in going through the "move", it is this life experience of moving that ultimately makes each PK different and unique in their own way. Moving truly can make or break someone.


I am slowly beginning to understand the psychology behind the "move." It all kind of lies beneath my mom's old piece of advice that she used to give me when we would move around while I was a teenager. She would always see me moping around, and so she would always tell me not to get so attached to people. But that is exactly the person I grew up to be. Sorry mom! I can't help it, but I do get attached to a lot of people and it's easy for me to do so. So that is one kind of person you might get in a PK. Someone who gets close to people in whatever locality they arrive to. Someone who finds a best friend in each place. Someone who promises too many people that they will try to visit haha. Someone who can't publicly make up their mind about which was their favorite place (although with age, I think that choice becomes easier to make). While there are even more distinctions that can be made within the "easily attached" category, the fact is that we hate to move because we fall in love with people a little too much and so the hurt stings just a little more.

The next category is the kind who realizes very early in life that moving is hard so they make sure not to get too attached that easy. People call them anti-social, I tend to call them smarter than I. While they usually make friends easily, they don't open up very much. They keep most people at arm's length, but to the few who make it past that line, they hold them real close to their heart. What sucks is that I've heard these types of PKs being labeled as snobbish, anti-social, and weird, but they fail to see what kinds of risks they try to save themselves from. While I think I'm better off being more friendly than stand-offish, I see and understand that these people just want to make their lives a little easier by running with a few people.

And then there are those who just want to hit the ground running. Somewhere in their youth, they realized that moving is merely a part of life and ultimately, life goes on. So they arrive at a new place and act like nothing ever happened. I think they understand that their time in a place is short, so they want to fit their way into people's lives, even if that means to force their way into it haha. Many people find this annoying, but again, I find it as another way to deal with the instability of knowing what "home" is. People tend to say about this type of PK "who does he/she think he/she is? Acting like we've known each other for years!" Well, can you really blame them? They are only approaching life the way they feel works out the best.

Now everybody got the game figured out all wrong,
I guess you never know what you got till it's gone,
I guess this is why I'm here and I can't come back home,
And guess when I heard that - when I was back home!
Every interview I'm representing you making you proud,
Reach for the stars so if you fall you land on a cloud,
Jump in the crowd, spark you lighters, wave em around,
And if you don't know by now, I'm talking about Chi-town!
-Kanye West "Homecoming"

I'm sure there are even more categories but I'm just making the point that we all have unique experiences. Moving back to Washington has become a unique experience because I've never moved back to a place I used to live before. Well, I did when I moved to the Northeast twice but I was a lot younger then so I really don't remember much. But being back in Washington is a little weird to me, because I really wasn't sure how to prepare myself for it. This time around, I wasn't really worried about making new friends - the worry this time was to see who I'd still be friends with. It's not so much a worry as it is just something to discover. And it is weird, because I'm not really sure where I stand in the lives of my old friends anymore. I look at some old friends in a new light and obviously, I still made a lot of new friends. Being away for almost 7 years is definitely a long time, and there's this air of "restarting" about it: like I have to restart my relationships with some people. It sounds like a bad thing but I mean that in a positive light. People can't help but become a different person from their teenaged years to their quarter-life mark.

So I guess I was going about this move all wrong. When my brother and I were making our three-day drive from Texas to Washington, I felt like I would just move back to Washington, eat at all my old favorite spots, visit UW a few times, and then everything will die down for me. But I'm looking at it differently now: this will be a whole new experience. I'm back in Washington but I haven't come back to the same people. While it's true that some people still act the same, I think the important thing is that I'm not the same, and I'm eager to see how the Ramon sans 7 years later will interact with Ramon's friends sans 7 years later. For a minute I was kinda weary of how I might feel with people but it's actually exciting to see what kind of memories and/or milestones will be created, now that my friends and I have gone from childhood to adulthood. While I wish that I never left because I've missed out on so much, I'm just glad to be back. I'm still glad that I get easily attached and that I end up missing people like, all the time.

Welcome back to Ramon's world, dear Washington state. Allow me to put on for my city =)

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